Dear Rayne

Dear Rayne,

As the last minutes of today tick on and your now a full 9 years old, I can’t help but reminisce….

9 years ago today I was a 17 year old girl about to become a 17 year old mom in just a few short hours.

There was pain. Blinding pain. And then, there you were.

Time stood still, the world stopped spinning, there you were.

Don’t ask me who was in the room, or what color the walls were. I can’t remember the nurses or the doctor, but I do know every detail of you. I know the exact swirl of your black hair, the watery blue grey shade of your eyes, the 10 perfect grasping fingers and toes and that cry that resonated through all 6 pds. 20 in. of you. That cry that brought tears of pure joy and love to my eyes.

I was born to be a mom and you were made for me.

I didn’t want to sleep that night, I didn’t want to miss a single breathe you took.

You slept the whole night.

And now you’re 9. You’re 9! I have to say it over and over to myself until it sinks in that my first born is 9.

You amaze me. You know that don’t you? Hopefully I tell you enough. You have such a questioning mind, artistic being, sensitive soul and caring heart. You make me see the world through new eyes, or rather, through the eyes that time has made me grow out of.

Everything can become a new fun adventure with you and that soaring imagination of yours. Hold onto that, don’t ever let it go. Your mind works in ways that I can never understand. You see the art and creation in everything and have to question every detail of it. Don’t loose your passion for knowing and learning. You’ll be greater than you know!

Do you know how much I love you? No, probably not. Maybe it’s not anything you can fathom until becoming a parent yourself. But that’s too far in the future for me to think about, although it’ll get here much quicker than I’d like.

In the mean time though, what will tomorrow hold in store for us…

Dear Rayne

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8 thoughts on “Dear Rayne

    • thank you kim! and we need to get our minis together, they’re all around the same age. maybe in a few week when we get settled in our new house and the playroom is all set up!

  1. Happy Birthday Rayne! I got pregnant with my oldest son at 17. I always felt ashamed and was told from the get-go that I was not capable of being a mom because I was still a child but as soon as I had him I loved him and I knew I was meant for him 🙂 thanks for posting…when you become a mom you just know how to love….and yes time goes by soooo fast.

    • Thank you for sharing with me Adriana! Some people are born to be mothers! I will NEVER condone teen pregnancy, but it was the right thing for me and meant to be, I’d never take it back! I’m sure you feel the same 🙂

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